Today & Yesterday

Yesterday was the quintessential Fall day: brisk, sunny, trees bursting with color, leaves crackling up the sidewalks...  I loved it.  We went on a nice walk and Justin toddled along side of us instead of riding in his stroller. {He thinks he's big stuff}  One of my favorite things about walks is coming home just before it gets dark and enjoying a few {short} moments of peace in my living room.  I love twilight and especially love cozying up to watch the sun set through the trees.  (I don't really get the full sunset.. it dips behind other houses before it really sets but I get enough.)  I turn off all of the lights and the windows just sort of glow with color.  This little tree outside of my dining room window is one of my favorites right now:

I really don't have the hang of how to shoot that spot so it looks pretty but here's another pic to give you an idea:

haha, again, I can't capture it in pics but it's such a brilliant orange and is better than any artwork I could buy.  The tree is in a weird spot in our backyard and when we first moved in I thought about cutting it down but after I saw it last Fall, I totally changed my mind.

That quiet time is really a pick-me-up.  Last night I came in all excited from our walk because I found a bunch of these on the ground:

{Heaven!  Sorry neighbors, I know it's weird I pick branches from your yard!}

Befire I realized what I was doing, I was arranging them around the house and snapping pictures.  {Do you know how annoying that must be to live with?  Dave (my husband) didn't say anything and just opened up a recipe of mine from our cookbook and made dinner. {I try not to be overly-sentimental on here because I realize people are reading and many don't want to hear my personal goo- and I know lovey-doviness is totally annoying- but damn he's awesome.}

...But back to that quiet time...  These days it feels like life is just spinning at a ridiculously fast pace.  And I've stopped kidding myself that it will ever slow down.  It's insane that it's almost Thanksgiving.  I cherish that time.  It's almost like for a few minutes, things just stop.  I don't go in there every day at that time but I guess I should try to when I can.  It's always good for me.  I neeeeeed it.

Mornings at our house run the gamut from fairly relaxed and rushed (when we all get enough sleep) to nighmarish (when we don't.)  Lately we've all been a little low on sleep and Christian (3 ys old) especially because he doesn't sleep at daycare. 

Here's the rough scenario:  Dave leaves for work around 6:45 or so, I hear Christian banging on his door to come out of his room.  (We put his doorknob back on now...  he just forgets he can use it ;) He comes out of his room and into my bed and asks where Daddy is.  I tell him work like every day and he begins to wail at the top of his lungs which wakes up Justin, our 11-month old.   Justin wakes up almost every morning with a dirty (like really dirty #2)  in his diaper, and it's often not just in the diaper.  I'm telling you this not to gross you out (sorry if I did) but to give you an idea of the state of things.  So I leave Christian who's just happy we're all up to clean Justin and his bedroom carpet up.  While I give them a bath, my dog- Ashby- goes into Justin's room where I've left the bagged up pooey diaper and proceeds to tear into it and have her creamy breakfast. 

Does this happen often?  At least once a week or every other week. 

Why don't I learn?  What is wrong with me?

I mean, I know my dog likes diapers.  She's like a panther waiting to devour its prey.  I've got to try harder.

{the beast}

 I mention all of this because of the difference between today & yesterday... (And also because - having just gone through the experince again, I needed to vent.)  The thing is that, as far as circumstances go, there really is no difference at all between today & yesterday.  Most mornings start out something like that and I have the option to end most days something like yesterday's end.  The only thing that I have any control over is my attitude.  I was really impatient & snappy this morning with Christian (and Ashby) and I hate being that way.  It's directly correlated to how much sleep I get, and clearly I need more.  But, since that's not always an option, I'm going to attempt for some "peace" inside even when all's insanity outside.  That's where this blog sometimes helps me.  Even though you may have sat through all of that rambling thinking "what the-?" it was good for me, so thanks.  Writing often helps me figure things out and make changes.  

Also, for anyone who's ever emailed me asking "how do you do it all?" or "how are you so together?"  here's definite proof that I don't and I'm not.  :)  

{#1 trying to squeeze the life out of #2}

When I opened the door today to get the boys to school/ daycare, the first thing Christian said was, "It smells good outside."  I walked outside just after him and it smelled like Winter.  

Here's to attempting to slow things down and remembering that even when all's insane, it's what we've got, so love it.  

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