The Search For Home: A Counter Offer

I just wanted to thank everyone SO much for the advice. I really haven't felt that low in I can't remember how long. (When I thought we might be letting the house go... I just felt sick.)

Anyway, after doing a bit more research (on the comps), more soul-searching & realizing we really do have to follow our gut, (we're the ones who have to live here, right?) we made a counter offer.

We'll be waiting to hear back, but I just can't tell you all how much I appreciate all of your advice & stories & I really do consider you all my friends- thanks so much :)

have a great weekend!!

xoxo,
lauren

The Search For Home: HELP WANTED

hi guys,

just wanted to let you know that the sellers have come down a bit on their price but not as low as our offer. we love the house so much but have our agents & some of our parents telling us to let it go. We're really torn right now. The number they came down to was the number we originally said we wanted it for but now we have family & ppl telling us that amount is too high. my dad, who's a dreamer/ entrepreneur like me, is thinking we should go for it...

I know most people giving us advice don't see the potential we do in this house (some of them haven't even seen the house) but I also know we're young & unseasoned.

I know it's pathetic but I feel like I'm getting dumped. sucker punched. letting this house go feels wrong in my heart & I just don't know what to do.

If we let it go at this point I will feel like we're being told to let it go, not like we let it go because it felt right.

xoxo,
lauren

Design Persuasion

Design Decisions. We all have to make them. And except for the lucky few of us, most of us have to make these decisions with some type of approval, agreement or acceptance from a spouse, partner, boyfriend or girlfriend or roommate. (For the rest of this post, I'll simply say "partner")

It's often difficult to convince your partner of your vision & to come to his or her "senses" and agree with you. ;) (I have to say right off that I am one of the lucky- my husband may not always agree with me, but he does completely trust me now & even if he doesn't "get it" at first, he lets me go ahead--- to date the only thing I think he's hated is that white feather wreath.) Needless to say, many of my clients are couples, and many of my friends & family require "2" yes's before moving along with a project so I do have a lot of experience in dealing with partners who disagree design-wise.

Just now when I was giving my toddler breakfast, I thought of what my husband had told me last night. (Our toddler has gotten into the stage of shaking his head 'no' (actually he shakes his head and says "uh-uh" in this strage squeaky little voice that's very unlike his normal deep, scratch voice- it's pretty funny but anyway-- when we offer him a choice of food.) My husband reminded me that offering Christian 2 options instead of just picking food up and asking him if he wants it works perfectly.

(I remember the same worked really well for my litte sister when picking out outfits to wear-- "This one or this one?" not "What do you want to wear?") Anyway, I'm sure most of you parents out there do this, but I was just thinking today how much it also applies to design decisions.

There are certain clients who want options to decide from, while there are others who want to know what I think is the best option & present only that option to them. Some clients LOVE to see options & others are overwhelmed by them. Some clients want to be very involved & others want you to make most decisions with approval from them. When presenting design decisions to your partner, I think it's often the same thing. You have to figure out how your partner is most receptive. If you bring something home & have it all set up, will he or she freak? not notice? love it because now they can see what you're talking about??

I think it's important for partners to make decisions well together. To be efficient. To make design decisions based on the issue at hand and not because he or she wants to win or have a compromise or whatever... Most of the time there's one partner that is the design-lover (I know there are those cases when BOTH are & there are usually AMAZING results) and it's probably the partner reading this blog right now. She or he is constantly brainstorming, looking for ideas, creating design solutions & presenting them to his or her partner. Now, the partner, can be receptive, hesitant, unwilling to spend the money, gung-ho, completely against CHANGE (a biggie) and a lot of other things when presented with a new design idea.

Now you can't change your partner's personality, but you can change how you present your design ideas to him or her. Think of the way you can present your idea that will most likely get you a positive response. Figure out what type of decision-maker your partner is & present your ideas accordingly.

I have seen cases when presenting two options & showing both sides of the options & letting the partner (or client) come to his or her own decision (which is usually yours) works. I've seen cases when both partners need to be equally involved & if one partner is not there at the spawning of the idea, he or she later is against the idea because of his/her lack of involvement. (I think in these cases it's really important if you notice something like this going on to just bring it up & say what you're noticing so your partner can realize that he/she needs to focus on the issue at hand and not on his/her negativity towards the idea.) Some partners need third party opinions. (There have been cases where I'm called in simply because couples cannot agree between themselves.) There are (lots!!) of cases where one partner hates change. And then theare are other parties that do better when the plan is simply told to them & they don't have to be bothered with the decisions/ details.

The important thing here is to figure out what type of design decision-maker your partner is & how you can present design options so that they'll be accepted. Here are some decider- types I came up with:

1. Does your partner need to be presented with options & be an active decision-maker? [If so, rresent 2 options you like.] or2. Do options scare him? [ Show him or her your plan.] 3. Does he or she need to think they came up with the idea on their own?? (Oh good luck here and please watch "My Big Fat Greek Wedding'--- "The man is the head of the family and the woman is the neck who can move the head any way she wants it.")

4. Is money the determining factor? [Present your idea and explain how you've made it with finances in mind: "I LOVED this one but I found this very similar one for $60 less. What do you think?"]

5. Does your partner simply want to disagree with your ideas? [ Again, all kidding aside here, there are bigger issues going on here & I really think being up front about your partner's disagreeableness is important for your relationship. If you feel that this is going on, the best thing is to be open about it & try to get to the root of the issue here so you can be happier... but sometimes it can be as little as someone having a bad day(really, don't present design decisions when someone's not into it or has had a tough day.)]

6. Does your partner hate change? [ This is another tough one. People get into routines & get used to things and a lot of them don't like change. I think sometimes the best thing here is make it clear to your partner how important it is to you and how much you need this change.]

7. Does your partner just believe something or have an opinion about something that is kind of illogical? [This is a tricky one... sometimes people form opinions/ beliefs about things they don't really know much about based upon one situation or hearsay. "So and so hated having marble countertops... I'll never get them." or "I don't like all-white bedding." or "I hate flowered material." Sometimes people haven't seen all of the options or heard all sides of the argument. I think when you are presenting here it's best to start out with, "Now I know that Johnny didn't like his marble countertops, but read this article on the pros and cons & see if you think they might work out for us." or "I know you're against all-white bedding, but it's going to be easier to clean because we can just bleach it. We can also add in some color with pillows and blankets so it won't feel sterile."

or "I know you don't usually like floral fabrics, but check out this fabric. It's not the traditional floral you would think of & it's not feminine at all. "]

8. Does your partner just think you don't "need" something? [ First make sure that you really do "need" it before proceeding & then explain why you think you need it & why it'll improve things & what it'll do for the space.]

The important thing is to be really respectful of your partner & to make sure that you & your partner don't take opposing sides. Sometimes when someone gets it in his/her head that they've made their decision & it's final, there's no winning. Or at least not happily. He or she might always look at that lamp & be reminded of the battle & hate it. I'll never forget that I asked my friend to take a look at a lamp I was returning. I had purchased it for a client who didn't want it & I called her over & she loved it. She brought it home & when her hubby came home (who is VERY involved in design-decisions.) didn't like it. I felt terrible & was like "I'll take it back." and she was like "no," hahaha and so I left & told them they could decide & let me know. A week or two later, I was over & it was still in the living room with the tags on it and I asked her what the deal was and she said they were still arguing. Eventually she won but I still sort of feel bad and kind of laugh when I see it. (And they are a really happy, healthy couple, it was just the way the design-presenting went down. "Look what I did honey," is never really going to fly with them.)

So anyway, figure out how you and your partner work together. What's the best way to present a design idea for him/her to be most receptive? What type of decider is your partner?

xoxo,

lauren

[I also have to say I'm sorry about all the bad-grammar: "them" and "they" when referring to 1 person but him/ her got really wordy!!!] *images from real simple & fabric & furniture from calico corners

ps- STILL waiting to hear back (3 days! arg!!) about our offer!!!

The Search for Home: The Treehouse

So we've put in an offer on a house & are waiting to hear back. eeeeeeeek!! I'll wait to post a photo of the front of the house until I know if we're getting it or not. Below is an inspiration image (of Chaffee Braithwaite's home featured in Cottage Living) for the feeling I'm going for in the house: natural, textural, clean, airy, and comfortable. I really want to bring the outdoors in. It's imporatant to me that the focus of the house be the views of the outdoors.


It's a bilevel home from the 70s & is very contemporary (shocking for me, right??) But it's really a blank slate with clean lines, lots ofs space, an insane amount of windows (you feel like you're in the trees, hence "treehouse") and tall ceilings. It's situated on a culdesac and backs to trees and a creek & feels really private. I strongly dislike the outside of the house. (more on that later)



Below is the entryway which leads up to the main level or down to the lower level. I think I've got room for a small console. I'll probably do a hodgepodge of art on the main wall going up because there are so many windows in the living room, I don't have much space for art. Also, an oversized chadelier will work wonders here. New hardwood floors need to go down... (White carpeting going up the stairs will so not work for this messy family.)

Below is another view of the entryway from the living room. Need new railings but I think that will be one of the last things we get to. And who knows, they might grow on me since I'm going for the indoor-outdoor thing?

Below are photos Pam's (owner of Red Ticking) living room. Most of her pieces are antiques but she's really made them work beauitfully in her contemporary home. (This is what I hope to do with my furnishings)

Here is the living room. I love it for its 5 (one is on another wall) huge winows, cathedral ceilings, and spaciousness. It's directly off the kitchen which is a must for us.

(My photos are the gloomy ones- we've had a lot of dreary days lately.)

I think for the living/ dining room I would pretty much use the whole thing as a living room since the kitchen is large enough to be an eat-in kitchen. I'll most likely do some sort of library table or pedestal table that we'll use for books, projects, etc that can do double-duty as a dining table.

Or maybe something like this (Chaffee Braithwaite's again)

Here's Darryl Carter's Farmhouse living room (again, I know! :) But I love the room and it's breakdown of space. Eventually I'd want to do some white paneling & beams on the ceiling too.

Below is Lee Kleinhelter's living room and I love the layout of it as well.

Here is the kitchen in it. I wish they hadn't even put this "new" kitchen in because I just feel that it's all wrong for the house. Argg.. the arches in the cabinets, the maple, the color.. everything. So not this house and so not me.

I would really want to redo it right away but that's not really in the budget. I'm having thoughts of tearing down the uppers & going with a really cool tile backsplash up the wall and maybe some shelving for a temporary (as in a few years) fix:

For this house I like the look sans-shelving but I don't know where I'd put everything & I also have dishes I'd love to show off.

Below is the color scheme/ feeling I want. (my favorite kitchen again.) Clean lines, white, weathered wood. We're going to attempt concrete countertops ourselves right away until we can afford a "real" kitchen redo.

Below is the view from the kitchen into the living room. I'd want to have that little area be a little bar spot from the other side so the part of the wall needs to come down. (Looks like a great little blogging spot to me! ;)

I think I might still be able to pull in some farmhouse details if I really want to go that way. The simplicity would fit this house.

There's a huge space under the window:

I'm planning something like this:

Or more of a window seat with a table pulled up to it:

I think we'd be going with some type of indoor-outdoor fabric for the little ones:

Here's the view of the backyard from the living room on a very gloomy day:

Here's the master bedroom (below). There are 2 huge windows (pic only shows one) and it's a really nice size. There's a walk-in closet & bathroom suite and the view faces the back yard. So, do you see the pickled paneling??? Well, I was first like- eeesh it has to go---- but in the weirdest way, I'm now questioning... maybe it would stay till I got sick of it??? I love grayed wood & it is real wood... I can always paint it later... can I please have your thoughts on this? Am I just totally transfixed by the time warp of this house? crazy???

Anyway, when I walked in here the first time, I immediately thought of Atlanta Bartlett's room that I love so much. Can't you see that feeling in here???

So let's go down to the lower level:

It's the same setup as the upstairs living room with a lovely 70s stone wall (help!! I need ideas here!!!) except where the kitchen is there's a funny room. It's is fenced off and up a little step & there's a drop ceiling in there. The fance is definitely leaving & I've got to see what posts need to stay for structural reasons. I'd really like to ditch the step too. Anyone have any thoughts?? (That's my mom in the pic)

I'd like to put a sitting area & my office in there and make the ain part of the room be our lounging area/ with TV & huge comfy sofa. (Christian will have toys- hidden away in hutches, don't worry- on both levels so he can be with us wherever we are & have funs on both levels of the house.

Below are some inspiration pics (cottage living) for the lower level:

Below is the patio which really needs help.

Dave (my husband) has promised to build a pergola which I'm SO excited about:

I really love the thought of wisteria covering it:

There are 2 bedrooms on the lower level. One will be the guest bedroom & our 4-poster will go in there because it has really tall ceilings, and the other bedroom will function as storage for work & the Workbench & my husband's weight bench/ workout stuff.

Here is the bathroom on the lower level. Oh boy.

Here are some thoughts:

Here's the (huge & sunny!) laundry room:

Here's what I'd love it to look like: (this is the laundry room in the same house as my favorite kitchen)

And that's it for now. As you can see (if we get it) we'll have our work cut out for us. As I said before, when loking at comps it seems the owners are asking a bit much for it so right now we're waiting to see if they'll take our (very reasonable) offer.

xoxo,

lauren