House Guest Etiquette and the "Big Question"

What started me thinking about this is the Big Question: What to do with the bed before I leave my host's home?

Sometimes I strip the sheets & sort of remake it with the bedspread, and other times, I remake it (usually when the host says "Please don't do anything!") and there have even been times (Oh mother-in-law how I love you!!!- forgive me!!) that we've left the bed sort of messily thrown together but definitely not made (gasp!!) imagew below of my mother-in-law's guest room:

So, just browsing around online to see what I could find about house guest etiquette, I found the following tips to be the most common:

(Before I list them all here, let me just say that in our house there are some people who visit who we don't even consider guests- more like "non-guests"-- they've earned "mi casa es su casa" and they're the ones who don't need to knock- you know parents, siblings, best-friend neighbors, people who you're so close with that it would seem crazy to do some of these formalities with --- hee hee oh they get the royal treatment... we even let them help load the dishwasher ;) ;)) Ok, here we go:

1) Bring a hostess gift--- Especially if you haven't seen your friend for a while and/ or it's a special occasion or you're a first-time visitor... (but I must say that as a host, this is something I would never expect either, only that it's a nice surprise when it does happen.)

2) Help Out-- for example, ask to help with food prep, dishes, etc.

3) If you have kids, keep them under control-- I'd say this really goes for leaving the house at all (not just being a guest) but I thought I'd include it here anyway. Also know that people who aren't around kids a lot or don't have kids are sometimes more anxious about kids in the house than another parent with their own crazy kids. (Many exceptions to this of course, but I have realized how much more relaxed I am myself now when other kids are tearing through my house, compared to when I didn't have a kid... I guess it's like pain tolerance?? ;) ... Make sure to wake up with your children-- unless you're with grandparents, in which they usually relish having the kids when you're sleeping. (we hope!!) (image below from an abc show- not mine, I swear!!)

4) Keep your space tidy-- One of the articles I read mentioned that if you're in a space that's used by other family members, then you should keep your door ajar so they have access to it (for example, home office)... Obviously you don't want people walking into a catastrophic mess. It's nice to make the bed everyday & keep a handle on your clothes. (image below from In Style Home)

5) Keep the bathroom super-neat-- (I've been using the word "super" a lot lately because my 2-year old says food is "super hot" and it's now in my head.) Hang your towels neatly, keep your toiletries under control, close the lid on the commode after each use and if there's a squeegee, use it.

6) Be grateful-- this is pretty standard... It's nice to leave a little thank you note when you leave or send one when you get home.

7) And from here, I found "Don't eat everything in sight." -- ah oops. hahahahah I KNOW I am guilty of this one!!! oh boy... (My in-laws get us this AMAZING prosciutto & salami & olives when we go there or when they visit, and I literally even eat it at breakfast time... the amount of consumption is incredible. And when my best friends & I visit each other, our purpose seems to be eating... But I guess this falls under the "non-guest" clause... I'm a non-guest when I'm there, right??)

8) In general, be easy & flexible.

9) AND.... On the Bed-making question I found this from here: "MOST IMPORTANTLY: Leave the space ready for the next guest. The day you leave, strip the bed, place all soiled linens and towels neatly in pillow cases, and set the cases near the laundry facilities. Re-cover the bed with the bedspread so it will look fresh until the next guest arrives. Finally, check the space to be sure you haven’t left any personal items behind."

So, that's the answer to my big question... BUT I have to say, that as a HOST, I really like my guests to feel pampered & not do work. (Even non-guests!) I feel a twinge of guilt when they're working on the bed or trying to launder their linens/ towels. I just want them to relax & not worry about what they're leaving behind. If I ever see guests doing this or even making the bed, I tell them not to... so guests who get away with it in my house, have to do it before I see them trying ;)

That being said, I still do it when I'm at others' homes... (Again, usually being told by the host not to worry about it.) So will this always be one of those things that hosts and guests push each other on?? What do you think? What to you do as a guest? As a host? Is there any way we can set out a world-wide standard and just all agree on it??? Make a blog-world pact on how to do it & then spread it around ?!!!!) ;)

What do you think?? xoxo,

lauren

Tips for Taking Interior Photographs (non-technical!!)

I received a bunch of emails after my last post asking about tips for taking "after" pics of rooms, so I thought I'd share some that I've discovered over the years. (I am by NO MEANS a professional as you can tell though!! ) Since so many of us are obsessed with getting our houses looking pretty & have blogs, I figured it couldn't hurt! A lot of these might sound like no-brainers, but I really had no clue about them when I started.

1) Don't use flash. Here are a some of 'before and after' pics of our old house, where we moved just after the apartment, the townhouse. I took them when we first moved in, but some of the 'afters' are from a year or 2 later. Here are a couple of "flash" photos:

Images with flash end up being dark & cold & cheap-looking. (above & below)

Now, check out the "after" (below). It's light & airy and much better:

2) Shoot during the day when the lighting is good. (Unless you're specifically after nighttime shots like a Christmas tree at night or candles or something special like a city view.) Here is our living room when we first moved in. (With all of my lovely decor from my old apartment... eeeeeek) I didn't use flash on it even though it was taken at night: (which is good)

But check out the difference in the same room during the day: (no flash of course)

3) This one really should have been a no-brainer for me (but it wasn't!)... You should "style" the space. (ok, #1 clear out clutter... I think in the pic below that I must've just been trying to get a shot of the pretty roses from my husband -- not trying to get a room shot--- but it does illustrate this point perfectly. How can you even notice the flowers when there's junk everywhere?!)

How much prettier do these (below) look? No clutter, no flash... HUGE difference:

Some reminders for styling: ditch items like wastebaskets, newspapers... Hide your electrical cords. Tape them to the underside & down the back legs of furniture so you can't see them. Nothing is worse than a tangle of cords.

Styling for the kitchen: Sometimes people actually go too sterile when photographing kitchens. But, remember you can ditch items like your toaster (if it's not cute & takes up too much space), sponges, pot scrubbers, pens & pencils, etc. Consider having a pretty soap dish or dispenser, nice towels, good-looking cooking utensil holder, a bowl of fruit and/ or vase of flowers.


The pictures above & below are from when we sold our house so actually a few things are missing because staging is different from decorating (like the pretty towels & a few things that might warm it up) but we did set up a couple of bottes of Aquafina on the bar, which I always think looks nice. (I love Aquafina bottles & totally refill them with fresh water & stick them back in the fridge!!)

Styling for the Bedroom: Again, some fresh flowers or something pretty on the nightstands. (Even set up some colorful jewelry or books--- anything that's pretty & adds a little something)... Add interest to bedding. Think of Pottery barn and all their layers. Even just a throw at the end of the bed can do the trick.

Show personal, but not-too-personal-items that make the space look lived in: NOT the box of tissues but maybe a cool glass of water in a vintage glass or a pair of glasses on a stack of pretty books..

For living rooms, a lot of the same things apply. Use pretty pillows and interesting accessories. Get rid of any clutter that isn't attractive. Always add fresh flowers or greenery if you have time. You'd be surprised what a huge difference adding flowers/ greenery into the room does. Again, the goal is to make the space look "lived-in" but not cluttered.

Pottery Barn is awesome at styling in my opinion. I might not always be in love with what they're selling but I'm always so impressed with their styling. (above) For dining rooms, make sure there's something beautiful on the table. It doesn't necessarily have to be a set table (which does look gorgeous) but it could be something simple like a pair of lanterns or dinnerware stacked up as if it's about to be set with a little vase of fresh flowers.

Take advantage of tabletops & shelves. Every surface is a change to create something beautiful. It's important to train your eye. Scour catalogs & design magazines & notice all the details that are present & missing. You'll be surprised by how much you can learn & by how good you'll get.

4) Use a tripod or hard surface to set the camera on. I'm really guilty of not following this rule and it shows. This is huge because if you're not using flash, it's really easy for the photo to blur and any movement at all messes the photo up. (Virtually none of the photos I take myself are clear enough, probably because if this!! ok, I know what I need to go buy!!)

5) Leave out any unattractive features in the room from the shot... Depending upon the look/ mood you're going for, this could be anything from the TV, to speakers, to the chair that you just haven't had the time/ money to reupholster yet.

6) Shoot from lots of different angles & take TONS of pics. I'm not a professional photographer so I don't know which angle a shot will look best from so I take them all. This way, I get tons of photos of one room & I have my pick of which shot works best. I'm often surprised that the one I thought would work the best, doesn't. Get low, get high, go straight on... try it all. (You'll eventually get the hang of what usually works best & won't have to always take so many shots but it's good to start out this way to find out what you like. )

7) Figure out the style of photography you like & try to emulate it. There is a HUGE difference between Architectural Digest & Domino. I made the (HUGE!!!) mistake of spending $$$$s on a photographer who did work for Architectural Digest to shoot for my portfolio. His work was amazing, but totally not my style. The photos ended up looking static & serious to me, which was not how I wanted my work coming across at all. The angles were all straight on & I couldn't feel any movement in the room. I was able to use a few shots that I loved, but overall for the amount of money I spent, I was really disappointed. (They're all on my website now & it drives me CRAZY!!! arg!!) But the point is, it was my fault. I didn't have enough knowledge of the style of photography I wanted. If you can figure out what you like, you can immitate it. (country living image below)

So, there you have some info on how to get better interior shots. I know I didn't address any technical issues & that would be because I'm still clueless in that arena!!! (I have yet to read my camera's manual so that might help a bit!) Hope everyone had a great weekend!!!
xoxo,

lauren

Turning Your More than 5-10 minutes problems into Marital Bliss

This is actually an unauthorized guest blog by Lauren's husband, David. Hello. She is sleeping right now and I wanted to suprise her with her a new closet. She's been dealing with a lot of change lately and has had too much on her plate, running an outrageously successful business, raising the ironically-named Christian and still dealing with the after effects or a flood/ move/ renovations. I read her blog about the 5-10 minute rule, I'm going to fix this... the closet.

I'm going to give you tips on how to do this yourself on the cheap. I'm also going to ramble on philosophically about life and marriage and maybe even, God help me, design. I teach English Literature by day, and am only the master craftsman by night (check the post time, going be well around midnight) so here are my thoughts and some bad jokes, but its all for a good cause.

The only tools I used tonight were, drumroll please

And my little ryobi drill.So the first thing to do is plan out your closet. Lauren showed me how to do this in our townhouse. She says the most important thing about custom closets are the getting the different levels and spaces to stay organized. Figure out if you need lots of room- tall rods for hanging suits or long dresses, or if you have an inordinate amount of shoes maybe you need little cubbie holes. I know, I know all that sounds custom and expensive, but this is how were going to get around that.

It may not look like much, but this little baby is versatile. we spend 10 dollars on five of these things and ten dollars on closets rods. If you knew how little money I gave Lauren to spend on decorating you be so amazed, but they you wouldn't like me as much. So, first things first, lay out your closet. Lauren had already planned this out before we moved into the house (I know, I know) so I'm kind of cheating, but I did some of it on my own. We have your typical closet. Rods hung at 5 and some odd feet.

Wasted space below and above. We need levels. Lauren fixed this problem at the townhouse. In my closet we took a shirt and a pair of pants on hangers and held them up to see how much room they needed. Wow, if you hang a shirt at six feet and change and then hang the pants at three feet and change, problem solved. You still get a shelf above and room for a pair of shoes below.

So let's move the rod. We had one of these, which makes it more difficult. If you just have a rod resting against the wall in a socket, just remove the rod and unscrew the socket and ignore the rest, unless of course your enjoying the witty prose.

You have to remove the shelf, remove the rod and then pry off the wood molding (I use that term as loosely as possible, it is just a piece of 5/4 x 4).

I remove the old nails and use the same wood, waste not. I make my mark based on where I want my top closet rod to be and nail in the pieces of wood. Important- pieces of wood will sometimes overlap, so the pieces on the outside have to come out first and go in last.
See how the piece of wood on the right extends all the way to the wall and the piece on the left runs into it? Well that means the piece on the left is coming out first. So pull them out, put pressure on the corners and where the nails are or you might pop through your drywall.

Oops. But hey it's a closet and that will be covered up by shirts. Select the height you want your top rod to be and then start putting the boards back up. Use the original nail holes, but fresh nails, because they will line up perfectly with the studs, and will just go in more easily. (to any colleagues reading- sorry about the split infinitives but this is hard work) Now I've always wanted one of these suit valets:


The finish is wrong anyway. So I put the next rod in with one of these beauties and a few wood screws. Make sure to use wood screws.



The key to these thing is to put them into studs. I know the man at home depot will tell you that sinkers will work. The actual packages of the mollies, or sinkers, or whatever new name they have, claim outrageous holding capacities, 50, 60, even 100 lbs in 3/8" drywall. Far more than your clothes would ever weigh, right? I've been there, these are just a few of my bad memories:


I've tried them all. They don't work. They will never work, and if you used them before for other things and they worked, you got lucky but trust me, they won't work here. You need to put them into studs. Use this little machine, wait for him to beep. Then he is happy and you will be too. (look again at the picture above, I've shamelessly put the dreaded sinkers on an end table I built) Anway, I set the height on my bottom rod to accomodate a some pants on one side and a dresser on the other.

Well not exactly, you can get into a philosophical style debate on dressers but Lauren had this elfa thing from the container store. (lauren's into these right now)

And I said I want to keep my clothes in one of those things in the closet. That way all of my clothes live together like a happy family, and I don't change locations when my socks don't match. Its all right there now. We purchased one of those thing for me.
Now these things take up space and I sacrficed most of my lower side to house it. You'll see later what Lauren had to sacrifice.

I also got different size mesh baskets because while I have less clothes, I'm larger than Lauren and my clothes physically take up more space. So she has lots of little baskets and I have a few big ones. Here they are together:

I love this thing. Say bad things about dressers in closets, say bad things about Hemingway, but don't say bad things about this elfa closet organizer, I love it.

So Lauren's side only has half of a rod on the bottom because she has long, pretty dresses that go on the other. Very custom. It took me two minutes to measure the pole length and then three minutes to saw the pole to size. If they have the nice poles that have rubbers caps on the end then buy those so you don't have a sawed edge. If they don't put the sawed edge against the wall so the factory edge stick outs.

In my travels overseas I learned an ancient Chinese secret about getting good photoshoots of closets. Matching hangers with sufficient space in between, even if you have to remove clothes and hide them elsewhere.

Try to ignore the racing stripes, that's where the old board used to be. I will fix that later, remember what's important here is not the nailheads uncovered, I'll get to that later as well. What's important is that as we speak sleepy lauren just stumbled into the room and said "oh my gosh, so much better."

She will wake up in the morning and eat breakfast feeling a less stressed, she'll be singing a song, probably some terrible Cobie Calliet (sp?). After breakfast she will bring a bunch of toys into the bedroom and Christian will make and destroy buildings, in that order, while she organizes her clothes.

While most people see piles of clothes and empty hangers, Lauren sees what was an umanageable nightmare turning into a 5-10 minute mess. Maybe they'll be organized by occassion, season, I can't begin to understand the synesthete's mind, but I can observe its patterns. And I know marital bliss is not found in organizing closets, but I have found doing something nice that you know the other person will like always goes a long way. Now whether or not Lauren is pleased I stole her blog to post on a half-finished closet we've yet to see.