Behind the Scenes in an Interior Design Project/ Business

This morning I've been thinking about how in magazines & blogs we get to see the fun parts of interior design:  the befores & afters, the inspiration & the creative process, but rarely do we see what goes on behind the scenes: when designers are ordering goods for their clients, handling paperwork & coordinating shipping & contractors, and managing the project and clients' needs & expectations.

{some of my new textiles}

I think it's definitely because it's not an exciting part of the process and also because it can be a difficult part of the process, although project managment is waaaaay more than half of the project.  Everyone has their own way of doing things, but when I work with clients, this is how it basically goes:

We have an initial phone chat or meeting to discuss what the client is looking for and to chat about my company & how we work, our rates, processes, etc.  It's at this point that we decide if we want to work together.  Once we've decided to work together, we have a meeting in which the house is surveyed, measured, photographed or blueprints are exchanged if it's a new build.  We interview our clients about how they want to use their home & the spaces in it, their wants & needs, likes & dislikes, personal style, color & fabric preferences, etc. 

{image via stylehive}

From here we set about creating a design plan for clients based upon everything we've learned.  There is some back-and-forth about a few specifics as we create the plan.  I really like to include antique & vintage pieces in design plans, but it does make the process a little more challenging because you often have to snap up these pieces when you see them, sometimes before you've created the entire plan.   I typically leave "holes" in the plan for certain items that I know we want to find vintage or antique and then we're on the hunt for these items as the project moves forward.

Once we've created the plan, we present it to our clients.  I present one plan.  There may be an option or two to for the clients to decide between, but for the most part, the entire plan is laid out, even down to pillows & certain art or accessories if they're intrical to the design.  I do this because I feel that I know my clients well enough by this point that I know what the best option for them is.  {When I first started out, I used to sometimes create two plans, but I realized that  my clients always chose the plan I wanted them to choose and that the second plan was a waste of time.}  Just like there may be "holes" in the plan for antiques or one-of-a-kind items, there are holes in the plan for art & accessories.  I often present examples of art and/ or accessories I think we should use and once the project is moving forward, we both look for these items & are constantly on the hunt.

{DC Design House board close-up}

{Speaking of being on the hunt...  I am not one of those designers who can go out & be shopping for many clients all at once.  I can typically have 1-3 clients in mind when I am shopping but usually no more than that.  I have serious tunnel vision, I powerwalk, and know exactly what I'm looking for and so I can't keep a catalog of 8-15 clients in my head when I'm out & about.  I go out specifically for certain clients and sometimes I'll even walk around the same market multiple times with different clients in mind, each time noticing completely different things.  Sometimes I have consultation-based clients who say "If you're ever out and about and you see this, buy it for me & I'll pay you back..."  I used to think this was possible, but I've now realized that it doesn't work that way for me.  I have to go out specifically on the hunt for something because when I am out on the hunt for a client, I am out specifically for them. ...  and of course there are exceptions that just smack you in the face because they're so perfect! ;)

Once the plan has been squared away, we move onto the implementation phase of the project.  (The nitty gritty part we don't hear much about.)  I found a really great overview of the emotions connected to the different phase of the project on Jenny's Design Build's website:

Even if there is no construction....  once you get to the design presentation & begin implementation, there is a lot of waiting for clients to do, which is not fun.  Witch custom pieces, the typical time it takes to wait for items to be made is 8-12 weeks but often much longer.  There are almost always fabric & furniture backorders which can delay the project.  (And as a designer, sometimes you don't get notice from the companies about the backorders for a few weeks or even a month after you've placed the order & think everything is on schedule.  How fun it is to let your clients know then! ;) 

When ordering products- which sounds like an easy thing thing to do- but often manufacturers don't get back to you, inform you of backorders waaaaay late, or send damaged items.  Everything that happens is your responsibility to relay to the client and it's not always good stuff.  When I first started, having no idea of the time or risks involved, I used to give my clients trade-only items at no mark-up, not realizing that by doing this I was losing a lot of money & barely surviving as a business.  (My accountant had a talk with me ;)  For one, it takes a lot of time to order something & handle it the entire project.  You can get emails throughout the entire project about a certain product & its specifications.  And oh my GOSH you spend hours if something arrives damaged-  getting in touch with the company, arranging a pick-up, return & ordering a new piece & starting over.  (Think of a custom sofa that is being stain treated...  you have an order with the fabric company...  then it ships to the company to be stain treated... then it goes to the furniture manufacturer.. then it takes a mponth or two to be made, then it goes to a shipping warehouse and then to your client...  SO many things can happen along the way and you're in constant contact alont the way.  It's hours even if it's smooth.   Ordering trade items is very different from ordering retail items, which can even take some time if a return or exchange is necessary.  You end up losing money and working for free...  Once I realized all of this, I began offering goods to my clients at retail or just below retail prices (depending upon the product... pricing is different at different companies) and finally started getting paid for the responsibility & all of the hours spent managing projects.  I've found that for me, there really is no way to charge a client hourly for the implementation phase of the project because so many things can happen along the way that it's difficult to project.  (And no one wants to get a bill charging them for your time on a damaged item or get a bill for 3 hours for a sofa-  can you imagine?! :) 

{image from msnbc.msn.com}

Shipping is another beast.  EVERYTHING has shipping on it.  Even a yard of fabric which is shipped on a roll & costs money.  Every time something is moved somewhere, it costs money.  Many companies do not have an exact shipping price until something actually ships, which is often difficult for clients to understand.  (Rightfully so.)  Some companies do a percentage - which I love for estimates- and others are pretty consistent.  The longer you're in business, the better it gets, but I am still not comfortable enough to be able to give a firm shipping estimate to clients.  Every time I pick up a new vendor, there's a new shipping policy & different rates to try to learn.  Generally, shipping can be anywhere from 10-20% of an order and can be more or less so it's a pretty big range.   

Working with contractors & managing is another time-consuming and risky part of the project.  We spend a lot of time with contractors & going back-and-forth relaying ideas, answering questions, and overseeing the project.  I've also come to realize that it's much better to have a flat fee or a percentage fee for this part of the project because again, clients want to know what they're paying up front, and because designers need to be compensated for their time.

Once you've placed all of your orders & are handling them, your client is waiting and you & your client are seeking out those "holes" in the projects-  the details & the one-of-a-kind items that will truly make the space feel personal & real.  This part of the process is seriously easy for me when it's in my own home, but much more difficult when you're working with a client because you have to get their approval before you purchase and there's often only 1 item and if you leave it that day, it will probably be gone if/ when you return.  Buying trips with clients are wonderful, but the client is either paying for your time or a mark-up on the goods. 

I have recently started having items for my newer projects (if possible) shipped to a receiving warehouse so that final installation can take place all at once.  I think this is really important to a project's smoothness factor.  Until very recently, I used to let items trickle in to clients as they were ready, but this can worry clients.  They analyze each & every piece & begin to get scared because they're seeing just the pieces of the puzzle and not the overall picture.  Clients are always happy with the results in the end, but having items come in one by one often results in phonecalls, understandably, because it can be scary to see a bright green sofa arrive in a white room with nothing else in it.  (Speaking form my own experience in my own house....  oooohh even I was panicked! haha!)

{My living room when my green sofa first arrived-  eeeeek}

{My living room once everything else was in...  photo by Helen Norman}

Once all of the furnishings & softgoods are installed in the room, it's time to do the final accessorizing.  With my clients, I have been stressing the importance of this and I don't do projects without this final step.  Once everything is in, we get to tweak & add in those great one-of-a-kind items, hang artwork and do flowers & plants & personal items to finish off the house.  Clients then get to see the vision fully realized and they get to see how beautiful & personal their home really is.  They know just where to place flowers when they have parties, or how to set up the best way for guests.  It can even get as detailed as helping clients pick out dinnerware and/ or soaps. 

{Dinnerware at a client's home...  photo by Helen Norman}

This is a great time to have the home photographed, and I really think this is an important part of growing your business.  I started out with photos I'd taken of my old townhome about 3 and a half years ago and slowly grew my business from there, weeding out older projects & badly shot photos as I could afford better ones.  I'm still in the process of doing this, and hope to be always doing this as I grow as a designer & continue to get new projects.  Clients love sending friends & family photos of their finished home because they're proud of it.

{A recently photographed client's home- The Hart Family.  Photo by Helen Norman}

I really am new to this business - three and a half years- so I'm still really learning & evolving myself.  My assistant, Meg, is helping too & we are constantly refining our roles.  In our business, the most important thing to us is that the client is happy & feels taken care of and we are constantly figuring out new ways to make this happen. 

A couple things I've learned both the hard & easy way:

1.  Stay in control of the project.  Some clients are used to being in charge and can take over a project and unintentionally send it out of whack.  You have to be firm in your processes and follow the systems you've set into place, and explain to clients why things work the way they do.  (Of course you want your clients very involved in the creative aspects of the project, but don't let them change the way you run your business.)

2.  Be firm in your fees & pricing.  Make sure you set fair fees & stick to them.  You want the clients who value what you do, not the ones who don't feel you're worth what you're asking.

2.  Know the parameters of your project.  Some projects keep growing and growing.  They may start out as a consultation and evolve into a full-home renovation.  As soon as you realize the project is becoming something other than what it started out as, reevaluate, do a new contract & set new parameters with your client.

3.  Not every client is for you.  (I think this is important for designers to know...   I have lots of friends who are designers and we know that we each have our own types of clients.  For example, the client who would want my good friend wouldn't want me.)

4.  Trust your gut.  Seriously.  If something doesn't feel right about a project or client, trust yourself and do not take it on.  If you can't be 100% passionate about a project, you won't do your best and it's not fair to the client.  If you feel that the potential client is going be very difficult for you to work with, don't take them on; it's not worth the stress.  Most of your clients will be with you for a very long time so realize there's no wham-bam-thank-you-m'am- in a full-service project.

5.  Constantly be thinking of where you want your business to go.  You have to remind yourself of what you're doing & where you're going and what your end goal is. 

6.  Put your clients first.  Always be thinking of your clients & how they are feeling.  Check in with them constantly.  This can be really tough depending upon how many clients you have at once.  It's important to know your limit of how many projects you can take on & still give great service.  {I have recently stopped doing two-hour or one-day consultations because -even though I loved helping clients get a quick gameplan for their homes- it was taking up too much of my time away from my full-service projects and it was really difficult to focus because I had so many clients to keep in contact with.  {I was honestly having trouble sleeping at night because of emails & communication...  I would wake up at night & remember people who had follow-up questions from consultations or who just wanted a tiny bit of advice over email and then not be able to go back to sleep becaues I felt so guilty for not having written them back yet.}

7.  Gather an amazing team of people.  Each person who does work for your projects, such as contractors, workrooms, artists, etc. is key.  Find the people you work best with & who do what they say they will do, and your life will be much easier.  It's taken me years to find the right people.  Once you have them, never let them go & treat them right because it takes a village to create a great space.  They can make or break a smooth project.

...  There's much more, but my day's starting & I've got to run!!

I know this is the not-so-pretty-part of interior design but I really think it's important to discuss how the behind-the-scenes stuff works.  Everyone does things differently and I am constantly evolving my own businesses processes, so I'd love to hear how any designers out there work and how they do the behind-the-scenes.  Let me know your thoughts!!

If you'd like help creating a home you absolutely love, contact me about our design services.

ps- Don't forget to enter the $250 Tracy Porter Giveaway!!  Click here to view it!

Reality Check: What does it cost to furnish a room?

Money talks can be a little awkward.  I don't relish talking about money and I don't like telling people how much money they should spend...  but it's part of my job.  Often when I'm called into a project, clients don't know how much they should spend on a room.  Budgets are a very tricky thing and I often have to help them figure out where they should be at on their budget.

People often fear telling a designer their budget because they fear she will "spend it all."  Well, guess what?  We will!!!   A designer's job is to know the client's budget and do as much as she/he can with that budget.  If a client tells me she has $45,000 for a room, I'm going to use every cent of that $45,000 to get her the best quality she can afford.  Similarly, if a client has $18,000 for a room, I'm going to use all of it too so that she can have the best she can afford.  Is the client who spent $18,000 getting the same thing the client who spent $45,000 is?  No, definitely not.   If a client really has $15,000 to spend and tells me he has $10,000, he's only shooting himself in the foot  (This hasn't ever happened, I promise :)  because I'm going to make decisions and present based upon a level of quality & value that's lower than what he can really afford.

When clients ask me "how much should my room cost?" it's difficult to answer.  I can do something with almost anything, but the results will be totally different in different budgets. 

We're lucky that we live in a time where good design is accessible at affordable prices.  But...  we have to be careful that we're comparing apples to apples when comparing goods.  For example- the ikea sofa, the Pottery Barn sofa and the Lee Industries Sofa...  All are at different pricepoints and at different quality levels.  Quite frankly, you get what you pay for.  If a client comes to me with a lower budget for the living room and wants it completely furnished, I can't spec a Lee sofa for her even though it's the better sofa.  I have to go with a sofa at a lower pricepoint.

I thought it might be interesting to see what a tyical bare-minimum living room budget would look like at 3 different pricepoints:  low- medium- and medium-high    (I'm not going higher than that into high-end because the sky can really be the limit.)... NO thrift/ flea purchases are in here either..

                                 LOW                                      MID                          MED-HIGH
Sofa                           $500                                     $2200                             $3500++
2 Chairs                     $250                                      $2600                             $4400+
Wool Rug 8 x 10        $350                                      $2000                         $5000+              
coffee table                 $100                                     $750                                $2000+
3 occasional tables       $100                                    $1200                              $3900
2 table lamps               $100                                     $300                                $900+
2 floor lamps             $80                                      $600                                $1600+        
4 curtain panels-          $25                  off the rack    $400                               $1800+
Curtain Hardware        $40                                       $750+                             $1000+
2 natural woven shades   $50                                    $240                              $750
light fixture                $20                                        $350                              $1000+
throw pillows              $125              off the rack     $500                              $1200+          
Art & accessories-  $50                                     $3000                             $5000+
SHIPPING/ DELIVERY- x                                        $                                   x
electrical, installations, labor - x                                x                                     x
hardware, wallpaper,etc.-  x                                       x                                     x
_______________________________________________________________________
  TOTAL                  $1,850.00 +                           $14,140.00 +                       $33,850+

...And then think that I didn't put in items like wallpaper, installations, SHIPPING (this is BIG!!!  10-20% of the cost of the project), labor, paint, archictural details, special treatments on furnishings, etc. so add in thousands more $$$$)

The low is pretty much based on Ikea's prices, the mid is kind of a Pottery Barn budget and the mid-high is a mix middle & high-range custom and trade-only items, which is how we typically design rooms in our business.   Again, I can't stress enough that even the "med-high" can easily go waaaaaay up from there & that even this would be "tight" if the client is really looking for high end antiques, fabrics, upholstery, etc.

Even if the same designer were to do rooms with these 3 different budgets, the rooms would be completely different and you would know by looking which was which. 

{ikea...  notice that putting Ikea stuff in a room that's already architecturally interesting (the horizontal paneling)  adds some oomph to it...  I really like the general idae of this room but with slimmer-profiled furnishings and a truly crusty & old gold oval mirror, some natural textures and a better light fixture, it would be much betta and put it into another league.}

{pottery barn...  same here...  no pattern either.}

[House Beautiful...  see the difference?  It's all in the lines & the quality.}

... There's never any judging when a client tells me his or her budget...  there's just serious brain scrambling to figure out how I can get them the best room for the money we have.  There are times when clients tell me what they want and then tell me their budgets and I have to be honest and say, "For that amount, you're not going to be happy with what you get"  because what they want and what they want to spend are so far off.  In this case, I typically recommend that we create an entire plan that the client will be happy with that he or she can then implement in stages to offset the costs.

In my own home, we were able to do things for less by going to thrift stores & flea markets & by using craigslist and by doing everything ourselves, but we wanted a certain level of quality with certain items (our sofa, rug, lighting, fabrics.)  We were able to save by finding an amazing sofa for a steal on craiglist and having it reupholstered (pic below), but it still cost us $1500 or so and it took a lot of TIME.  If I had done it for a client, the amount of money they would have had to pay me for my time to find the sofa on craigslist, go pick it up, and have it reupholstered would have considerably reduced its savings and possibly not even have been worth it. 

{our craiglist lee sofa- photo by Helen Norman}

When furnishing a room from scratch, it can feel scarily expensive.  Most people begin the process after they move into a new place & realize they need furniture...  they've already spent so much purchasing the house and now they have to furnish it.  In the initial "budget talk" many of my clients are blown away when we do simple calculations and come to an average pottery-barnesque-priced living room that costs over $15,000 without including things like wallpaper and special treatments and SHIPPING... 

I like to use vintage and flea market finds to stretch my budget {and add style you just can't get with all new items.}  If you're willing to do things yourself and seek out cool items and refinish them and rework them, you can really stretch your budget.  If you don't like to do things yourself, paying your designer to do it isn't necessarily going to save you any money because she will have to upcharge the items or bill you hourly, but it is going to give you the mix of old-and-new results you want and I highly recommend it...  It's a valuable service worth paying for.  My clients are never happier than when I come in with a good vintage find for them that they never would have chosen or found themselves that makes the room.

What are your thoughts on budgets?





If you'd like help creating a home you absolutely love, contact me about our design services.

Design Snobbery

{remember this scene from Pretty Woman?}

Design snobs.  You know the stereotype: clickity clacking heels, suits, haughty expression, a distaste for low budgets and new entries into the field.   Now, do they really exist or we are imagining it?  Have you ever walked into a store and suddenly looked down at what you were wearing and felt like you didn't belong there?  Was this because someone in the store "made" you feel that way or because of your own insecurities?

I know that a lot of people I've spoken with outside of the design industry- mainly friends & family- think that a lot of interior designers and in-store decorators/ salespeople have a "snobby" way about them.  I think a lot of this can stem from talks about budgets and brands and general nonverbal communication.

People fear someone walking into their homes and "judging" them & their house.  It's a designer's job to look critically at a space, so yes, it won't be all pats on the back when you invite a designer into your home to begin a new project (you wouldn't want to pay for that, would you?)  but it shouldn't be a barrage of judgement & cristicism either.  When I walk into a home with a new client for the first time, it's not the time to judge, it's the time to observe, and I always approach a new project knowing that I've been called in because the owner understands good design and is looking for something more in his/ her home.  I understand that designing is not his/her profession and don't expect to see a magazine-worthy space (that's my job! ;) ;)   Depending upon the budget given and the parameters of the project, I help the client determine the best level they can get their home to.  I help them figure out where best to allocate their time & money to get the best overall look.  I know many people fear telling a designer their budget because they are afraid we are going to use all of it or go way over or judge them for it.  I tell clients that yes, I will use all of the budget you 've given me, but knowing the budget up front helps me figure out how to get the best look for the amount of money you have for the project.  Money is one of the designer's tools whether we want to hear it or not.

So the question is- why do designers have a snobby rap?  I know many of us like nice things and we deal in the business of appearances.  (On one level...  For most of us, it's the business of making people feel something, but it's an appearance that elicits that feeling.)  I'm really affected by my surroundings.  Whenever I go over to my mom's house, I start OCDistically rearranging her sofa pillows the way I like them.  (my poor mom, I wouldn't do this to anyone else...  except my maybe dad!)  So I'm sure if one of her friends saw me rearranging her pillows, she might think I was ridiculous and takingo ver my mom's house, but in reality I do it because my mom's house feels like my house to me (I did used live there for a looooong time) and I treat it just like I do my own house...  Maybe I look like a design snob when I do this?  (I'll have to make sure I never do it in a suit! ;)

I've heard a story about a designer telling a client that something in her home made the designer want to throw up.  After laughing (because seriously???!! really??!) I couldn't get over that someone would say that unless he/she was on a reality show and had been coached by the producer to say it.

I have also noticed in-store design consultants (whom I personally know & really get along well with & love) come across as a bit impatient or snobbish with customers who don't know much about the product or what they want or how to communicate what they want.  I KNOW these women are great people, but I know that the customer walks away feeling not-so-good when this happens.  I think some of it comes about from the customer being uncomfortable shopping for something she's not used to shopping for & dont' know much about, and I think some of it comes from the consultant doing it day in and day out and knowing the right questions to ask but not doing it as if it were the first time for the customer.  Because the customer is stepping out of his or her comfort zone while shopping or inquiring about a product he/she doesn't know much about, he/she needs to be treated carefully & with understanding.

I myself had similar treatment when I called a fabric distributor whose samples I carry for more information on one of their velvets.   I asked him to tell me about the velvet in regard to kids & pets & durability and his response was very insulted: "Why are you asking me this?  It's a high-end commercial grade velvet; one of the best in the industry."  (reeeeeeeally huffy)

I simply responded, "I haven't used this velvet before in a project, was never formally introduced to the pros/ cons of your line by a representative, and wanted to speak with someone who had experience with it."

"Oh," he said and then nicely went on to tell me how awesome it was and how long it would last, etc.  But my point is: why that response?  I wasn't surprised because I had gotten similar responses from him before, but really, why was there a need for that?  I actually love the company and have gotten so used to his responses that I'm fine with it and am not even bothered when I get one of those splashes-of-cold-water-responses, but it would be nice not to have to deal with it. 

My intern, Meghan, used to get off the phone with showrooms sometimes and remark at how unfriendly the people on the phone were.  We actually chose our upholsterer based on his friendliness and willingness to answer questions over the phone (once price & quality were taken into account of course) and he's still one of the best people we work with.  Think about how much business went his way simply because we felt comfortable asking him questions. 

I'm not one of those people who's going to say, "why the attitude?" or let it make me feel small or intimidated(which is what I used to do) but I am going to look for other possible future alternatives.  (Unless in the case of the velvets, everyone else is really nice, the service is amazing, and I'm so used to the dude's personality and it's almost funny.)  I don't think most people are intentionally rude or snobby or brisk, but it can harm them or their company anyway.  I've realized that most of that type of treatment isn't personal, but I'd still rather not have to deal with it. 

But why designers with the snobby rap?  We deal with appearances, we critique people's homes, we're in a field that is out of many people's comfort zone...  what else?

Competition.  I've noticed that there are a couple of different types of designers: those who share and those who compete.  There's no ifs-ands-or-buts about it, some designers view all other designers as competitors.  To some extent, I guess this is healthy, but to another extent there can be some cattiness in it.  I have lot of designer friends and believe that we all bring different styles & skills to the table.  The client that's right for me is not the client who might be right for my friend and vice versa.  The better my friends do, the better I can do.  If I can send over a client for a friend who might not be right for me but right for them, they might do the same for me one day.  There are designers out there who view other designers as competitors and as a reslt, just aren't really very friendly when meeting them.  I've even had a situation pretty recently, when I came accross an old family friend who is also a designer and I felt her hackles raise.  This is someone I've known since I was 5 and who has been designing a decade longer than me.  But I felt it and to be honest, even writing it now, it feels weird to me because I care about this person.      

Why else do designers have the snobby rap?

Thinking you're somebody.  This is a biggie.  I think it's important to never assume that someone knows who you are or what you do.  I was at a designer showhouse once and remarked to the designer of the room how much I loved it.  I introduced myself and put out my hand to shake hers after our conversation began and when she didn't offer her name, I asked her.  Eyebrows raised and clearly insulted, "I am ______________  _____________."  I felt embarrassed myself and realized that she was annoyed that I asked her name, but I didn't have a program on me and had wandered into the room without seeing a name anywhere.  I was honestly just loving her work and wanted to know who she was/ make a proper introduction.  (I won't make that mistake again because it was awkward.)  But I promised myself then that if I'm ever in a position like that, that I'll remember that -however awesome I think I am- there's a whole world of people out there who don't know me.  Humility is a virtue.

ASIDE: On that humility note though, I do think you can go too far- one of my best friends said to me a month or so ago on the phone that she thought I'd looked great after having the baby but had been afraid to tell me in person because I'm "so weird about compliments."  This definitely made me laugh, but I felt kind of bad.  I recounted a a conversatioon I'd recently had when I'd met someone at a party and he said "Oh my gosh your skin is just glowing!" and instead of saying "thanks" I said something like "yeah , I guess the sun'll do that" and it was just kind of awkward because there was a group of us & it came off as sarcastic (I think) when I didn't mean it that way at all.   So I do know that there's also a point when you have to learn to accept praise or a compliment gracefully. 

Why else?

Nonverbal.  I had a friend in high school who people thought were snobby and she blamed it on her facial expression and she was right.  Her natural resting facial expression just looked snobby.  My mom mentioned recently that one of the kids at the school she worked at asked, "Ms.Cox, why are you always sad?"  hahaha  And she has deep, sad eyes (which have always reminded me a bit of Precious Moments) and she said she's now going to have to try to work on her resting facial position because when she walks around it looks like she's unhappy.  Not that I think we always have to go around like people are watching us, but I do think it helps to be aware of how we're being perceived.  Do we come accross as nice, pushy, sweet, polite, rude, snobby??  How do you want to be perceived?  Maybe you don't have to go as far as changing your natural resting facial position, but you can be aware of your nonverbal communication when you're engaging in some way with somebody.  Are you speaking really quickly, giving them the impression that you don't have time for them?  Are you letting them speak?  Are you showing them that you're interested in what they have to say and listening?  Even smaller things like- is your body angled toward them or away from them? Are you looking around the room for other customers or are you paying attention to the person you're speaking with?  People in our industry need a little hand-holding.  (Even I like it! :)

Clearly there comes a point of overanalyzation (And I think I might be there.. I often recount conversation from months past, thinking that something I said came across badly or that I talked too much.  I'm much more critical of myself than I am of others.) but I do think it helps to do it a little and to become aware of how you're presenting yourself.  I majored in communication in college and have always been senstitive to people's moods and behavior and the results are out there, that how you present yourself affects everything from who you marry to how much money you make. 

Experience.  Wow, I can't say enough about experience.  A year of working experience in this industry is pure gold.  Every year you get better, you learn more, you grow, you become more open-minded (hopefully!) you become more confident.  I think this in many ways explains why so many of the great designers of our day our older.  But inevitably, with that experience, comes confidence & knowledge, which are both good, but can lead to ego & cockiness & impatience with those who know less or have questions or don't understand you.  Everyone is a person and everyone deserves respect.  It doesn't matter who you are or what or who you know.  You might be speaking to the next ____________ (fill in the blank).  I think most of us know what it feels like to be underestimated and I'm sure most of us don't like it (unless we're about to win a game of pool.)  Treating "those who matter" with respect and treating "those who don't" (just by feeling this way about someone you have to realize it's wrong)  with indifference or anything less than respect just plain isn't okay.  The receptionist who lets you in the door deserves the same respect as the CEO you're visiting.  I think anyone who has been on the receiving end of a brisk "hello" and then watches that same person turn to someone else and introduce themselves and gush, immediately feels a bit dissed.  I watch this go on all the time at parties and events. 

Who's Who.  Once you really get into any industry, you realize that there are those who are industry-famous.  The rest of the world doesn't know them, but you & everyone you work with does.  There are parties and events and associations and circles just like high school!  Some people are popular and everyone loves them and some people are really good at what they do but people don't like them as much.  It's easy for someone new in the business to feel "small" when entering into everything.  I myself was really nervous when going to some of the first design things a few years ago, but was fortunate to have some really sweet people taking care of me. 

In the design industry, a lot of things have gone into creating that notion of snobbery-  judgements, money, the focus on appearances, impatience with those who don't know, competition, ego, exclusivity, narcissism, etc. and I think some of it is valid and also that a lot of the perceived snobbery is unwarranted.  There are so many people in the industry who do have incredible reputations & talents but are the most down-to-earth people when you actually talk with them.  As is often the case, many of the most successful/ talented/ celebrated people are the most real and have gotten as far as they have not only because of their talents but because of their personalities. 

I'm not sure what I accomplished by this long pictureless post but maybe by thinking a little more we can learn to not pass judgements as quickly on others who might come across as snobby or maybe we can be more aware of our own behavior and make sure we're not coming across in a way we don't want to be perceived.  Your thoughts??




If you'd like help creating a home you absolutely love, contact me about our design services.

-ps I just recently added this bit above about my design services in hopes that I get more reader-clients...  Since I've started the blog many of my clients have come directly from the blog & it's been so much fun!!

A Long Story: How I Got Started Designing & My Advice

***LONG POST WITH NO PICS***

I often get emails asking about how I got started in the field of interior design & how I started my own business & wondering if I have any advice for people looking to enter the field & start out on their own. 

The emails are from all different types of women.  (And yes, so far, they've all been women)  Many are mothers, some are interior design students while most are looking for a second career in interior design.  (A surprising number are lawyers...  kind of interesting.) 

I've been bad about responding to these emails lately because I've been meaning to do a post on them & didn't want to write the same thing a bunch of times & have saved them in a folder in my inbox.  (I have to be honest & tell you that I'm insanely slammed right now with the new baby & work.  I'm in a tough transition, trying to run the busines while being a good mom to Justin & Christian and of course wife to Dave...  If you've emailed me with a question & I haven't responded, please don't hate me & just go ahead and send me another email.  I'm just having difficulty time finding time right now.  )

Ayway, back to the question of how I got started in my career.  First things first:  I absolutely LOVE my job.  Would I say that I've "made it?" or am on the top?  Definitely not.  I've certainly come a long way from where I started, but I've got a long way to go. 

Here's my story:  In college I majored in Communication with a concentration in Public Relations and a Minor in Creative Writing.  (Pleeeeease forgive all of my typos/ grammatical errors/ use of repetitive words, etc. that you always see on here and I promise that I actually do know how to proofread, but for the purposes of this blog & in the interest of time, just don't. )  Anyway, I thought public relations was interesting and pictured myself working for a big firm or at least the PR department of a really cool company.  I actually thought writing press releases was FUN!   I also had a little side business with my roommate, called "Mystickal Dreams" (please feel free to laugh :) where we made throw pillows, home accessories, cute little shirts, and aromatherapy-type products and sold them on campus.  (There's a whole post's worth of info here so I'll tell you about that another time)

Anyway, the Summer before my Senior Year of college, I got an internship at the PR department of a national organization with headquarters in Washington, DC.  I bought a couple of blazer/ suits and thought it was so exciting to take the Metro in & out every day.  I wore high heels.  I had my own little office & made phone calls & wrote press releases and worked with really nice people. I learned how to surf the internet because I was bored & finished with my "tasks" and became an expert in dog breeds.   (Seriously, do you know what a Chinook is?  I do.)   Some big stuff was going down at the time politically with this organization, so it was a really interesting time to be there..  or should have been.... 

My boyfriend at the time (Mr.David Liess ;) was up in New Jersey with his parents for the summer and so I often headed out during Friday rush hour to visit him.  (6 and a half hours for what should have been 3 and a half was NO FUN.)  On weeknights I would come home and flop on the bed exhausted from the day.  I'd wake up around 10 PM or so and eat & talk on the phone with Dave.  (I did go to Happy Hour & have fun too on some nights, but knowing I had to be up super-early put a little damper on it.)   I drew a lot that summer I guess just because I had so much creative energy bottled up inside of me.  (And I cannot draw...  ask my clients!) 

So I went back to school that Fall and kept on with PR.  JMU had a bunch of job fairs and I started talking with companies & I just wasn't really interested.  I started wondering if it was really what I wanted?  I wasn't really into the inflexibility of corporate life (If I could leave for New Jersey Friday AM instead of Friday afternoon- how much better would the day be??)  ...  And honestly, I wasn't passionate about it.  I wanted to be excited about my job & really make a difference.   My dad started talking to me a lot about our family business, Maestranzi Corporation, (macturing locomotive components) and about coming on to work with him.  He wanted to train me so I could eventually take over the company.  I saw how much better the company could do if it had a little PR and I was excited about getting the company a website & into tradeshows & making brochures & meeting with potential customers, etc.

We decided that I would go out to Illinois where the company was based and I would spend the summer shadowing my dad & learning the ropes and handle tradeshows/ etc.  Anyway, at the end of the Summer, I headed back to VA and did maestranzi's PR from there.  I went back for tradeshows and met with railroaders...   Things were going really well.   At home, I'd decorated my second apartment and was having a newfound love affair with a thrift store near my house.  I painted my bedroom twice and my dining room 3 times in under a year.  It was while experimenting here that I started really thinking about a career in design.  I signed up for an online diploma program and slowly worked through it.   I was attending railroad conventions but planning out new floorplans for my house on scrap paper during meetings.  (Sorry Dad if you're reading!!) 

Dave & I got married and moved into our townhouse and with that came more experimenting.  I started helping out friends & family &  finished my schooling.  I started taking small (very small jobs) on the side and ended up doing some real estate staging, which eventually led to decorating the homes of the people's whose houses I'd previously staged.  During this time, I started an LLC  (Pure Style) and thought it might be nice to do designing part-time.    I decided I would advertise my website on a designer listing website & my Grandmother, who was one of the few people at the time who took this idea of mine seriously, paid for a whole year of advertising for me & said I could pay her back one day when I'd "made it."  (She was also the one who paid for my diploma program and encouraged me to do it.)  I went to work for a designer in DC when she needed extra help. We worked mostly on model condominiums sans-clients.

I had made my own website for Pure Style LLC and knew it looked bad.  (This was in 2007)  The spaces that I'd had pictured were great in person, they just looked terrible in the photos I'd taken.  I scoured designers' websites that I admired & tweaked mine to look more like theirs.  I took out all of my before & afters and left in only the afters.  I copied layouts and got it looking okay.   (By the way, my hourly rate was very low at this point and I was happy to have any work at all.  I would have done it for free to be honest!  My goal was to get some well-designed spaces under my belt for my portfolio.)   I was able to do this because my dad was still paying me commissions on accounts I'd landed and in no way could have supported myself if it weren't for that.  I realized what a gift it was and decided I wanted to make the most of it. 

I took another hard look at my website & couldn't ignore the bad photography any longer. I realized I really wanted to make a go of my business. Dave & I decided to bite the bullet and have our house photographed which at the time was a huge financial risk for us.  I learned a lot watching the photographer that day. I uploaded the new photos onto my website and it was crazy- the calls started flying in!! I couldn't believe what a difference the photography made! Same house as before, just new photos! craziness.


We sold our townhouse for a huge loss because of the realestate market, and moved into my mom's basement with the baby a couple of towns over.  We saved our money & could not wait to buy another place.  It was tough on our pride, living in the basement, but it really was so good for us.   I was busy with jobs and there's no way I would have been able to handle it without the built-in babysitters up stairs ;)  In October I stumbled upon something called a "blog."  I don't remember whose it was at the time, but I thought it might be fun to start one too, so I did.  My grandmother & my mother-in-law were my only readers :)   
 
The jobs kept coming & I posted a couple of them on the blog.  It was so much fun to be able to share work with other people!  I was shocked when I opened up the Washington Post one day and saw my blog in there on Blogwatch on a post I'd done of a client's dressing room!!  I screamed so loudly that morning that Dave & my parents thought something terrible had happened.  I think from here you pretty much know the rest: I just kept designing & blogging & then house-hunting and eventually renovating and now here I am with the house semi-finished and one more baby boy!
 
Is it for everyone?  I don't know.  Some things I can tell you:  I believe you can be an awesome designer, but a terrible business owner and if you don't have both, you won't make it in business on your own.  I've had businesses since I can remember:  In high school, I sold homemade lipbalms & lotions & aromatherapy stuff, and in college there was Mystickal Dreams ;)  My dad's an entrepreneur, his dad was and that entire side of my family runs their own businesses.  Out of the 9 cousins, 7 of us have our own thing going on.  I truly think running your own business is "in" you, just as they say talent is in you:  You either have it or you don't.  I'm not saying you have to be from a family of entrpreneurs, but you do have to have a business head to go into business for yourself.  If you have amazing talent and aren't so much into business, you can still work for a firm & make a name for yourself that way.  Going into business for yourself is a hug risk and you WILL be broke in the beginning.  I wouldn't do it if I didn't have either a spouse whose income could support us in case it didn't work, or some other form of income as a buffer. 
 
A question I'm often asked:  "I have kids & not a lot of free time.  I'm afraid it will take up too much time."  My answer is that having your own business is like having another kid.  You have the advantages of flexibility & it's insanely rewarding but it's always there in the back of your mind.  You're never really "off."  You're happy when you're working 40+ hours because it means you have projects.  That being said, I do it & I have a family and a business and I love it.  I love the creative outlet and connecting with people and making them happy.  You just have to decide for yourself if it's for you. 
 
Dave just reminded me that your family needs to be on board with the choice to start your own business. There's NO way I could do it without his help and if you do have kids at home, you either need a spouse with a great schedule or a LOT of babysitting/ nannying from someone else.   You can't do it all.  It's tough to keep it feom being a trade-off:  "Hi honey, how was your day?  Ok, here, take the kids & see you later."  We have to work really hard to keep it from being like this because our little ones are so young & we don't have daycare.  I have them all day.
 
Another thing to think about is that state in which you live.  In some states it's illegal to call yourself an "interior designer" if you haven't passed the NCIDQ exam.  In some states, you can't even specify a fabric to use for surtain's in someone's living room.  Again, this could be a whole new post, but check out Joni's post on the issue here.   If I lived in one of the states mentioned, I would have to shut down my business, go back to school to get a bachelor's in interior design (my diploma program would not count)  and work for someone else for 4 or so years, then sit for the exam (costs around $1000 with a low first-time pass-rate) in order to practice design.  All of the states have different laws with different verbage, so it's really important to do your research.  (Almost all of my favorite designers are self-taught btw!  go figure! ;)
 
Some advice on how to do it?  Try to work for someone in the field.  Do it for free if you have to.  It's good to observe how everything works.  I learned so much when I worked for an interior designer in DC, but the biggest thing I learned from it was, "I can do this."  I mean this with no disrespect, but I think it's how you should feel if you're ready. 
 
Educate yourself.  This is huge & I think most of us here are doing it daily or we wouldn't be reading blogs.  But read- read- read.  Learn about the history of design, different styles, people, etc.  Every project brings on another set of challenges and you have to constantly research & educate yourself to get each one right.  Your knowledge is what you're being paid for, so you better know what you're talking about. 
 
Do your home.  Use it as a labratory to experiment.  Help friends & family members with theirs.  Take before & after photos.  And don't underestimate the power of professional photography. 
 
Self-confidence is key.  Educating yourself, getting experience under your belt, and completing jobs successfully all give you the self-confidence you need.  Until you have all of these things, I can honestly tell you, it's a bit scary.  I used to get SOOOOOO  nervous when a new client would call.  (I'd break into a sweat and pace on the phone :)  When you're new, it's tough.  (I'm still new enough to get nervous every now and then, but not the way I used to. )  There are days when I'm perusing other designers' porfolios and I feel SO out-of-their-league(s).  I  picture a large firm of "heel-clicking" designers (you've got to listen to last week's Skirted Round table) and I get anxious just thinking of them!  Then there are days when I wonder  what I could do if I had a huge budget for a project & I just get so excited thinking about the possibilities because I know it would be good.  (And most days I'm somewhere in between these 2 extremes.) 
 
And how has having a blog helped??  Wow, I really can't say enough.  I've met so many awesome people through blogging and have learned so much from them.  It's also been great because potential clients can look up the blog & get a sense of who I am & how I work. They can read about my design philosophies and make sure they jive with their own before even contacting me.  It's also allowed me to take on long-distance clients through e-design, which is such a fun & rewarding experience.  As much as I love it though, this blog takes HOURS a week to do.  Between 10-20 I'd say, sometimes more.  It's not only writing the blog, it's also responding to emails from the blog, reading my favorite blogs (there are so many now I don't even have time to read as much as I'd like!! arrgg) and taking photos for the blog and now of course ORGANIZATIONAL PROJECTS!!! hahah what was i thinking?? ;) ;)
 
I don't want to sugarcoat anything or deter anyone from following his/ her dream.  Not everyone can do it but many people can.  You have to have the natural talent AND the drive.  You have to be able to set goals for yourself and go after them whole-heartedly, with the support of your family.  You can't be afraid of hard work and if you're a workaholic, you'll have to learn to create a good balance in your life of work & family/ home.  In all honesty, at times I feel so torn.  When I'm behind on work (as I am now) I feel bad when I'm just hanging with my family because work is hanging over my head, and then I feel guilty even thinking that.  When I'm working, I often feel guilty knowing my family wants to spend more time with me.  And friends?  Well, I barely see them right now.  We talk & catch up, but I spend any free time I have with Dave & the kids.  (Right now is a bit crazier because we have a newborn at home, it's not like this when they get older.)  ...So think about what it would really be like for you..
 
Anyway, sorry for the insanely long pictureless post that might not apply to you at all, but I really wanted anyone who was interested, to have all of the info I could think of.  I tried to answer everything I could think of, but if there's something I missed, please leave me a question in the comments section and I'll answer it at the bottom of the post. 
 
So if you're thinking of switching careers & starting your own interior design business, think long & hard, and good luck.  You're the only one who really knows if it's right for you. 
 
xoxo,
lauren
 
ps- Maria of Colour Me Happy is one savvy woman, so check out her thoughts on what it takes to be an interior designer, here.

Questions from Comments:

-CJ, I'm thinking you mean how do I layout furniture selections, fabrics, lighting, etc. on a board for clients to see?  I currently do my e-decorating via email and so nothing is actually mailed to the client.  I create design boards by hand for them just as I do for my local clients and scan in the boards for email.  (I guess I'm old-fashioned?? :)  I would love to switch over to some type of computer program, but just haven't had the time to research it yet.  I do think branding is really important so it's awesome that you're getting your logo & will be using it on everything.  (I'm getting mine revamped as we speak! :)   

Another Question: In-Home Design Offices

We're still at the beach & I've been going to bed & waking up earlier & ealier. Today it was around 5 something when I actually gave up on trying to go back to sleep & decided to turn on the computer and I ended up going to one of my favorite places, The Skirted Roundtable to listen to 3 of my favorite bloggers. Well, I was so surprised when a favorite design icon, Vicente Wolf was the interviewee!!! (haha LOTS of "favorites!") You've got to go check it out here.

Anyway, I was just so impressed with Vicente's confidence (okay, I think I'd be really confident if I were him too! ;) & willingness to share his experience with other designers. As a lot of us know, this industry can be really competitive, which is why I think so many of us like-minded designers have begun to blog. Blogworld is a place where we can come and connect with other professionals who want to share knowledge & experience with each other. We like it when good things happen to other designers & we support each other & help each other become better. Anyway, Vincente seems to share in this philosophy and if you check out his blog, http://vicentewolfblog.com/ you'll see just how generous he is with his experience & design practices. (SO much valuable information!! image below from Vicente Wolf Home)

One of the things Vicente brought up at The Skirted Roundtable was that when you first meet a potential client you BOTH have to want to work together. It's not just, "Oh please pick me!!"... it has just as much to do with you wanting to take on the client as it does with them wanting to hire you. I think the confidence to make this clearer to potential clients comes with experience & also with reputation. It's important to have a balance of power when client & designer first meet so you're on equal playing ground & respect one another.

Another aspect that plays into this balance of power is having the first meeting (and possibly other meetings) with clients in your office, not their homes... even if your office is in your home. (It MUST be completely professional dedicated space & he said you need to show that you're serious about your work & the office must convey this.) Currently, I meet with clients only at their homes, but as my house is nearing completion, I've been considering having them come to my office at home. (There's a conference table & also a seating area but below is my old office without all of that... will be showing pics of my new one soon- promise!!)

So my question is, what if your house is really just a "normal" house? A modest home in a modest neighborhood... Not a big beautiful showhouse in an affluent neighborhood? Do you still invite the client for the first meeting at your home office? (I'm sure many of us use our homes to showcase some of our best work and people usually walk in & love it, but what about potential clients??) If they have a huge, expensive home, will they be turned off by your "normal" albeit beautifully-done modest house??? (image below of random house, not mine)

I'd love to hear your thoughts on this. Designers, what do you do? Non-designers, how do you think you'd feel as a potential client? Would potential clients be turned off by a "normal" house?

*** Let me also say that I will most likely never have an out of home office... I (obviously) work at crazy times and need everything right when I need it and also, it's just an expense I wouldn't want to take on at this point... Add in kids & needing the flexibility of an in-home office.. and well, there you have it.***

Would love to hear your thoughts!!!

xoxo,

lauren

Tips for Taking Interior Photographs (non-technical!!)

I received a bunch of emails after my last post asking about tips for taking "after" pics of rooms, so I thought I'd share some that I've discovered over the years. (I am by NO MEANS a professional as you can tell though!! ) Since so many of us are obsessed with getting our houses looking pretty & have blogs, I figured it couldn't hurt! A lot of these might sound like no-brainers, but I really had no clue about them when I started.

1) Don't use flash. Here are a some of 'before and after' pics of our old house, where we moved just after the apartment, the townhouse. I took them when we first moved in, but some of the 'afters' are from a year or 2 later. Here are a couple of "flash" photos:

Images with flash end up being dark & cold & cheap-looking. (above & below)

Now, check out the "after" (below). It's light & airy and much better:

2) Shoot during the day when the lighting is good. (Unless you're specifically after nighttime shots like a Christmas tree at night or candles or something special like a city view.) Here is our living room when we first moved in. (With all of my lovely decor from my old apartment... eeeeeek) I didn't use flash on it even though it was taken at night: (which is good)

But check out the difference in the same room during the day: (no flash of course)

3) This one really should have been a no-brainer for me (but it wasn't!)... You should "style" the space. (ok, #1 clear out clutter... I think in the pic below that I must've just been trying to get a shot of the pretty roses from my husband -- not trying to get a room shot--- but it does illustrate this point perfectly. How can you even notice the flowers when there's junk everywhere?!)

How much prettier do these (below) look? No clutter, no flash... HUGE difference:

Some reminders for styling: ditch items like wastebaskets, newspapers... Hide your electrical cords. Tape them to the underside & down the back legs of furniture so you can't see them. Nothing is worse than a tangle of cords.

Styling for the kitchen: Sometimes people actually go too sterile when photographing kitchens. But, remember you can ditch items like your toaster (if it's not cute & takes up too much space), sponges, pot scrubbers, pens & pencils, etc. Consider having a pretty soap dish or dispenser, nice towels, good-looking cooking utensil holder, a bowl of fruit and/ or vase of flowers.


The pictures above & below are from when we sold our house so actually a few things are missing because staging is different from decorating (like the pretty towels & a few things that might warm it up) but we did set up a couple of bottes of Aquafina on the bar, which I always think looks nice. (I love Aquafina bottles & totally refill them with fresh water & stick them back in the fridge!!)

Styling for the Bedroom: Again, some fresh flowers or something pretty on the nightstands. (Even set up some colorful jewelry or books--- anything that's pretty & adds a little something)... Add interest to bedding. Think of Pottery barn and all their layers. Even just a throw at the end of the bed can do the trick.

Show personal, but not-too-personal-items that make the space look lived in: NOT the box of tissues but maybe a cool glass of water in a vintage glass or a pair of glasses on a stack of pretty books..

For living rooms, a lot of the same things apply. Use pretty pillows and interesting accessories. Get rid of any clutter that isn't attractive. Always add fresh flowers or greenery if you have time. You'd be surprised what a huge difference adding flowers/ greenery into the room does. Again, the goal is to make the space look "lived-in" but not cluttered.

Pottery Barn is awesome at styling in my opinion. I might not always be in love with what they're selling but I'm always so impressed with their styling. (above) For dining rooms, make sure there's something beautiful on the table. It doesn't necessarily have to be a set table (which does look gorgeous) but it could be something simple like a pair of lanterns or dinnerware stacked up as if it's about to be set with a little vase of fresh flowers.

Take advantage of tabletops & shelves. Every surface is a change to create something beautiful. It's important to train your eye. Scour catalogs & design magazines & notice all the details that are present & missing. You'll be surprised by how much you can learn & by how good you'll get.

4) Use a tripod or hard surface to set the camera on. I'm really guilty of not following this rule and it shows. This is huge because if you're not using flash, it's really easy for the photo to blur and any movement at all messes the photo up. (Virtually none of the photos I take myself are clear enough, probably because if this!! ok, I know what I need to go buy!!)

5) Leave out any unattractive features in the room from the shot... Depending upon the look/ mood you're going for, this could be anything from the TV, to speakers, to the chair that you just haven't had the time/ money to reupholster yet.

6) Shoot from lots of different angles & take TONS of pics. I'm not a professional photographer so I don't know which angle a shot will look best from so I take them all. This way, I get tons of photos of one room & I have my pick of which shot works best. I'm often surprised that the one I thought would work the best, doesn't. Get low, get high, go straight on... try it all. (You'll eventually get the hang of what usually works best & won't have to always take so many shots but it's good to start out this way to find out what you like. )

7) Figure out the style of photography you like & try to emulate it. There is a HUGE difference between Architectural Digest & Domino. I made the (HUGE!!!) mistake of spending $$$$s on a photographer who did work for Architectural Digest to shoot for my portfolio. His work was amazing, but totally not my style. The photos ended up looking static & serious to me, which was not how I wanted my work coming across at all. The angles were all straight on & I couldn't feel any movement in the room. I was able to use a few shots that I loved, but overall for the amount of money I spent, I was really disappointed. (They're all on my website now & it drives me CRAZY!!! arg!!) But the point is, it was my fault. I didn't have enough knowledge of the style of photography I wanted. If you can figure out what you like, you can immitate it. (country living image below)

So, there you have some info on how to get better interior shots. I know I didn't address any technical issues & that would be because I'm still clueless in that arena!!! (I have yet to read my camera's manual so that might help a bit!) Hope everyone had a great weekend!!!
xoxo,

lauren

Design Persuasion

Design Decisions. We all have to make them. And except for the lucky few of us, most of us have to make these decisions with some type of approval, agreement or acceptance from a spouse, partner, boyfriend or girlfriend or roommate. (For the rest of this post, I'll simply say "partner")

It's often difficult to convince your partner of your vision & to come to his or her "senses" and agree with you. ;) (I have to say right off that I am one of the lucky- my husband may not always agree with me, but he does completely trust me now & even if he doesn't "get it" at first, he lets me go ahead--- to date the only thing I think he's hated is that white feather wreath.) Needless to say, many of my clients are couples, and many of my friends & family require "2" yes's before moving along with a project so I do have a lot of experience in dealing with partners who disagree design-wise.

Just now when I was giving my toddler breakfast, I thought of what my husband had told me last night. (Our toddler has gotten into the stage of shaking his head 'no' (actually he shakes his head and says "uh-uh" in this strage squeaky little voice that's very unlike his normal deep, scratch voice- it's pretty funny but anyway-- when we offer him a choice of food.) My husband reminded me that offering Christian 2 options instead of just picking food up and asking him if he wants it works perfectly.

(I remember the same worked really well for my litte sister when picking out outfits to wear-- "This one or this one?" not "What do you want to wear?") Anyway, I'm sure most of you parents out there do this, but I was just thinking today how much it also applies to design decisions.

There are certain clients who want options to decide from, while there are others who want to know what I think is the best option & present only that option to them. Some clients LOVE to see options & others are overwhelmed by them. Some clients want to be very involved & others want you to make most decisions with approval from them. When presenting design decisions to your partner, I think it's often the same thing. You have to figure out how your partner is most receptive. If you bring something home & have it all set up, will he or she freak? not notice? love it because now they can see what you're talking about??

I think it's important for partners to make decisions well together. To be efficient. To make design decisions based on the issue at hand and not because he or she wants to win or have a compromise or whatever... Most of the time there's one partner that is the design-lover (I know there are those cases when BOTH are & there are usually AMAZING results) and it's probably the partner reading this blog right now. She or he is constantly brainstorming, looking for ideas, creating design solutions & presenting them to his or her partner. Now, the partner, can be receptive, hesitant, unwilling to spend the money, gung-ho, completely against CHANGE (a biggie) and a lot of other things when presented with a new design idea.

Now you can't change your partner's personality, but you can change how you present your design ideas to him or her. Think of the way you can present your idea that will most likely get you a positive response. Figure out what type of decision-maker your partner is & present your ideas accordingly.

I have seen cases when presenting two options & showing both sides of the options & letting the partner (or client) come to his or her own decision (which is usually yours) works. I've seen cases when both partners need to be equally involved & if one partner is not there at the spawning of the idea, he or she later is against the idea because of his/her lack of involvement. (I think in these cases it's really important if you notice something like this going on to just bring it up & say what you're noticing so your partner can realize that he/she needs to focus on the issue at hand and not on his/her negativity towards the idea.) Some partners need third party opinions. (There have been cases where I'm called in simply because couples cannot agree between themselves.) There are (lots!!) of cases where one partner hates change. And then theare are other parties that do better when the plan is simply told to them & they don't have to be bothered with the decisions/ details.

The important thing here is to figure out what type of design decision-maker your partner is & how you can present design options so that they'll be accepted. Here are some decider- types I came up with:

1. Does your partner need to be presented with options & be an active decision-maker? [If so, rresent 2 options you like.] or2. Do options scare him? [ Show him or her your plan.] 3. Does he or she need to think they came up with the idea on their own?? (Oh good luck here and please watch "My Big Fat Greek Wedding'--- "The man is the head of the family and the woman is the neck who can move the head any way she wants it.")

4. Is money the determining factor? [Present your idea and explain how you've made it with finances in mind: "I LOVED this one but I found this very similar one for $60 less. What do you think?"]

5. Does your partner simply want to disagree with your ideas? [ Again, all kidding aside here, there are bigger issues going on here & I really think being up front about your partner's disagreeableness is important for your relationship. If you feel that this is going on, the best thing is to be open about it & try to get to the root of the issue here so you can be happier... but sometimes it can be as little as someone having a bad day(really, don't present design decisions when someone's not into it or has had a tough day.)]

6. Does your partner hate change? [ This is another tough one. People get into routines & get used to things and a lot of them don't like change. I think sometimes the best thing here is make it clear to your partner how important it is to you and how much you need this change.]

7. Does your partner just believe something or have an opinion about something that is kind of illogical? [This is a tricky one... sometimes people form opinions/ beliefs about things they don't really know much about based upon one situation or hearsay. "So and so hated having marble countertops... I'll never get them." or "I don't like all-white bedding." or "I hate flowered material." Sometimes people haven't seen all of the options or heard all sides of the argument. I think when you are presenting here it's best to start out with, "Now I know that Johnny didn't like his marble countertops, but read this article on the pros and cons & see if you think they might work out for us." or "I know you're against all-white bedding, but it's going to be easier to clean because we can just bleach it. We can also add in some color with pillows and blankets so it won't feel sterile."

or "I know you don't usually like floral fabrics, but check out this fabric. It's not the traditional floral you would think of & it's not feminine at all. "]

8. Does your partner just think you don't "need" something? [ First make sure that you really do "need" it before proceeding & then explain why you think you need it & why it'll improve things & what it'll do for the space.]

The important thing is to be really respectful of your partner & to make sure that you & your partner don't take opposing sides. Sometimes when someone gets it in his/her head that they've made their decision & it's final, there's no winning. Or at least not happily. He or she might always look at that lamp & be reminded of the battle & hate it. I'll never forget that I asked my friend to take a look at a lamp I was returning. I had purchased it for a client who didn't want it & I called her over & she loved it. She brought it home & when her hubby came home (who is VERY involved in design-decisions.) didn't like it. I felt terrible & was like "I'll take it back." and she was like "no," hahaha and so I left & told them they could decide & let me know. A week or two later, I was over & it was still in the living room with the tags on it and I asked her what the deal was and she said they were still arguing. Eventually she won but I still sort of feel bad and kind of laugh when I see it. (And they are a really happy, healthy couple, it was just the way the design-presenting went down. "Look what I did honey," is never really going to fly with them.)

So anyway, figure out how you and your partner work together. What's the best way to present a design idea for him/her to be most receptive? What type of decider is your partner?

xoxo,

lauren

[I also have to say I'm sorry about all the bad-grammar: "them" and "they" when referring to 1 person but him/ her got really wordy!!!] *images from real simple & fabric & furniture from calico corners

ps- STILL waiting to hear back (3 days! arg!!) about our offer!!!